The Legend of the Mystical Housewives Tarot
According to gossip,
The Housewives Tarot was introduced by housewife extraordinaire Marlene Louise Wetherbee in the early 1950s. She was a happy homemaker who seemed to have it all—a devoted husband and obedient children, a sparkling home that was the talk of the town, a fashion sense to die for, and far more than her fair share of women’s intuition.
One fateful afternoon, while playing bridge with the gals from the neighborhood, Marlene decided the time had come to reveal the secret of her success. When she removed a mysterious tarot deck from her pocketbook, her friends gasped.
“Marlene Wetherbee—you put those away right
now!” snapped the hostess. “I don’t allow that sort of mumbo jumbo in my home! What if my husband found out?”
“The devil’s work, if you ask me!” whispered another lady.
Everyone was appalled that Marlene would dare bring such an item to bridge. Such behavior just wasn’t ladylike! But Marlene had expected this kind of resistance.
“Don’t be silly, girls,” she said with a wink. “Haven’t you ever wondered how I keep my kitchen forever spotless? Or how I concoct the perfect meatloaf every time? Or why my mother-in-law simply adores me? These cards are my inspiration—my muse. Whenever I have trouble or questions, they help me sort things out.”
The gals stared in amazement as Marlene began to deal the cards. Images of gelatin molds, mixers, vacuum cleaners, and blenders bedazzled them. Sparkling porcelain, gleaming countertops, deluxe dinettes, and colorful Formica enchanted them.
“Why, I declare! These cards
aren’t a gateway to Damnation after all!” exclaimed one of the ladies. “Oh Marlene—do read mine first!”
Marlene became known around the neighborhood as the mystical Madame Marlena, and word soon spread about her powers of domestic divination. Housewives from near and far would seek out her words of wisdom. Her talents were in such demand that Marlene decided to go into business for herself.
A happy family, a perfect home, and a thriving business—yes,
The Housewives Tarot gave Marlene
the power and the know-how to have it all!
But just how exactly did Marlene acquire this mystical knowledge? Whenever pressed, she kept her lips sealed tighter than Tupperware. Marlene took her secret to the grave, bless her heart, and the origin of
The Housewives Tarot shall remain shrouded in mystery forever more.
Copyright © 2004 by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
