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The Sneaky Parent

Crafty Tactics for Raising Cheerful, Cooperative Kids

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Hardcover
$16.99 US
6.25"W x 7.3"H x 0.67"D   | 12 oz | 36 per carton
On sale Mar 19, 2024 | 176 Pages | 9781683694212
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More than 200 clever tips to help stubborn kids go to bed, clean their room, take a bath, and more—without tears or fights.

As a parent, you want nothing more than to keep your child fed, clothed, clean, healthy, and safe. Your kid, meanwhile, wants nothing more than to eat junk, go nude, stay up all night, and fall down a well. Begging doesn’t work. Bribery isn’t sustainable. You don’t want to shout. It’s time to get sneaky.

The Sneaky Parent offers a full playbook of clever ploys for beating kids at their own game. With the strategies outlined in this book, you can gently guide kids toward positive choices—while letting them think they’re the ones in control. Learn how to:

  • Boost oral hygiene by pretending a toothbrush is a paintbrush for teeth
  • Render long plane trips painless with a game of “Name That Cloud”
  • Calm separation anxiety by developing fun ways to wave goodbye
  • And dozens of other clever tactics, tricks, and games

With a little benevolent sneakiness, your child will enthusiastically try new foods, embrace bath time, go to sleep on a schedule, and other necessary but unpopular life skills. The best part? They’ll be sure it was their idea.

Previously published as How to Con Your Kid (2012) this edition includes gender-neutral language, updated screen time advice, and more for today's parent.
David Borgenicht is a New York Times best-selling author and the creator of the iconic Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series. He is also the founder of Quirk Books and, more importantly, is the father of two clever and now adult children, Sophie and Max. He lives in Pennsylvania.

James Grace is the coauthor of several books, including the New York Times bestselling The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Golf. He is a lawyer and runs a non-profit that supports artists and arts organizations. He lives in Massachusetts with his wife, Lisa, and is the father of three crafty and now adult kids, Avery, Cooper, and Dustin.

Hailing from Toronto, Jason Schneider is an editorial illustrator with over 25 years of experience providing advertising, print, and web content for leading North American and European publications and clients.
Introduction

This is the book your kids don’t want you to read.
     This is the book that will give you the skills, the know-how, and the street smarts to beat your children at the only game they’re better at than you are—being children. Sure, they’re smaller than you and, theoretically, not as smart as you. And, sure, you are the grown-up, so whatever you say goes, no matter what, right?
     But in the real world, and especially with today’s mode of parenting (in which many of us attempt to talk to our kids as if they’re adults—our first mistake), that’s not how it works. That’s just not how kids play the game.
     For children, especially those between the ages of 2 and 7, every day is a struggle between wanting to be more in control of their own lives and wanting to still be your little baby. As infants, all they had to do was cry and you’d come running. Why shouldn’t that same approach work now, especially if they can add whining, cajoling, and negotiating to the mix? Just because they have the capacity for empathy and reason doesn’t mean they think it’ll get them what they want any faster!
     Why shouldn’t they spend all day completely naked? Why can’t they have ice cream as an after-school snack? Kids don’t know you’re supposed to get dressed before you go anywhere or that candy isn’t the base of the food pyramid. Kids don’t know they aren’t allowed to play on your phone 24/7 just like you do. Kids don’t know there isn’t an unlimited supply of money in your wallet for buying toys whenever they want or that tantrums aren’t the primary negotiating tool of all great litigators. (Come to think of it, some great litigators don’t know that, either.) Kids don’t realize that getting a haircut isn’t an ancient form of torture, that nail trimming doesn’t hurt, or that there’s such a thing as an inside voice.
     That’s where you come in. You have to educate them somehow—or otherwise convince them to do what you want. That can be accomplished in a variety of ways.
     Sometimes it’s enough to lay the groundwork—give them the benefit of the doubt, treat them like responsible and intelligent individuals, teach them why things are the way they are.
     But other times, you’ll need to be a bit, well, craftier. You’ll need to trick, distract, or redirect your child so that they fall in line. This book gives you the essential tools and knowledge to do just that.
     This book contains all the information you need to pull a fast one on your kid—to convince them to behave exactly the way you want them to, anytime, anywhere. You’ll learn classic techniques, like being “A Little Sneaky” (offering choices that make your child feel as though they’re in control, when in reality you’re the one setting the terms), getting “Pretty Sneaky” with more complicated ruses, and turning dreaded activities into fun and games. You’ll master the art of misdirection and gain time-honored parenting skills you can use to get your kids to bend to your will—without them ever realizing it.
     To come up with the suggestions that follow, we not only tapped into the vast arsenal of parental weapons we have used on our own children—David has two kids, Sophie and Max; James has three, Avery, Cooper, and Dustin—we also surveyed dozens of other parents and experts (doctors, family therapists) in order to provide you with a comprehensive guide to the simplest ploys and best misdirection methods available. All are parent tested and approved, and we offer several options so that you can choose the trick that best suits the situation, the need, and your particular child. What’s more, you’ll learn the basic principles to invent sneaky moves of your very own.
     We hope you’ll use this book wisely—and that you’ll keep it in a safe place. After all, kids are learning to read earlier and earlier these days, and you don’t want it to fall into the wrong hands. Feel free to share it with other parents once your own children have finally gained the capacity to reason (or at least when they’re on to you and your schemes).
     And remember: We are the parents. We are bigger, smarter, and craftier. We don’t have to let them push us around—and in fact, nobody has to push at all! With just a little sneaky plotting, you can keep kids happy, healthy, and well-behaved without fighting. It might even be fun!
—David and James

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About

More than 200 clever tips to help stubborn kids go to bed, clean their room, take a bath, and more—without tears or fights.

As a parent, you want nothing more than to keep your child fed, clothed, clean, healthy, and safe. Your kid, meanwhile, wants nothing more than to eat junk, go nude, stay up all night, and fall down a well. Begging doesn’t work. Bribery isn’t sustainable. You don’t want to shout. It’s time to get sneaky.

The Sneaky Parent offers a full playbook of clever ploys for beating kids at their own game. With the strategies outlined in this book, you can gently guide kids toward positive choices—while letting them think they’re the ones in control. Learn how to:

  • Boost oral hygiene by pretending a toothbrush is a paintbrush for teeth
  • Render long plane trips painless with a game of “Name That Cloud”
  • Calm separation anxiety by developing fun ways to wave goodbye
  • And dozens of other clever tactics, tricks, and games

With a little benevolent sneakiness, your child will enthusiastically try new foods, embrace bath time, go to sleep on a schedule, and other necessary but unpopular life skills. The best part? They’ll be sure it was their idea.

Previously published as How to Con Your Kid (2012) this edition includes gender-neutral language, updated screen time advice, and more for today's parent.

Author

David Borgenicht is a New York Times best-selling author and the creator of the iconic Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series. He is also the founder of Quirk Books and, more importantly, is the father of two clever and now adult children, Sophie and Max. He lives in Pennsylvania.

James Grace is the coauthor of several books, including the New York Times bestselling The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Golf. He is a lawyer and runs a non-profit that supports artists and arts organizations. He lives in Massachusetts with his wife, Lisa, and is the father of three crafty and now adult kids, Avery, Cooper, and Dustin.

Hailing from Toronto, Jason Schneider is an editorial illustrator with over 25 years of experience providing advertising, print, and web content for leading North American and European publications and clients.

Excerpt

Introduction

This is the book your kids don’t want you to read.
     This is the book that will give you the skills, the know-how, and the street smarts to beat your children at the only game they’re better at than you are—being children. Sure, they’re smaller than you and, theoretically, not as smart as you. And, sure, you are the grown-up, so whatever you say goes, no matter what, right?
     But in the real world, and especially with today’s mode of parenting (in which many of us attempt to talk to our kids as if they’re adults—our first mistake), that’s not how it works. That’s just not how kids play the game.
     For children, especially those between the ages of 2 and 7, every day is a struggle between wanting to be more in control of their own lives and wanting to still be your little baby. As infants, all they had to do was cry and you’d come running. Why shouldn’t that same approach work now, especially if they can add whining, cajoling, and negotiating to the mix? Just because they have the capacity for empathy and reason doesn’t mean they think it’ll get them what they want any faster!
     Why shouldn’t they spend all day completely naked? Why can’t they have ice cream as an after-school snack? Kids don’t know you’re supposed to get dressed before you go anywhere or that candy isn’t the base of the food pyramid. Kids don’t know they aren’t allowed to play on your phone 24/7 just like you do. Kids don’t know there isn’t an unlimited supply of money in your wallet for buying toys whenever they want or that tantrums aren’t the primary negotiating tool of all great litigators. (Come to think of it, some great litigators don’t know that, either.) Kids don’t realize that getting a haircut isn’t an ancient form of torture, that nail trimming doesn’t hurt, or that there’s such a thing as an inside voice.
     That’s where you come in. You have to educate them somehow—or otherwise convince them to do what you want. That can be accomplished in a variety of ways.
     Sometimes it’s enough to lay the groundwork—give them the benefit of the doubt, treat them like responsible and intelligent individuals, teach them why things are the way they are.
     But other times, you’ll need to be a bit, well, craftier. You’ll need to trick, distract, or redirect your child so that they fall in line. This book gives you the essential tools and knowledge to do just that.
     This book contains all the information you need to pull a fast one on your kid—to convince them to behave exactly the way you want them to, anytime, anywhere. You’ll learn classic techniques, like being “A Little Sneaky” (offering choices that make your child feel as though they’re in control, when in reality you’re the one setting the terms), getting “Pretty Sneaky” with more complicated ruses, and turning dreaded activities into fun and games. You’ll master the art of misdirection and gain time-honored parenting skills you can use to get your kids to bend to your will—without them ever realizing it.
     To come up with the suggestions that follow, we not only tapped into the vast arsenal of parental weapons we have used on our own children—David has two kids, Sophie and Max; James has three, Avery, Cooper, and Dustin—we also surveyed dozens of other parents and experts (doctors, family therapists) in order to provide you with a comprehensive guide to the simplest ploys and best misdirection methods available. All are parent tested and approved, and we offer several options so that you can choose the trick that best suits the situation, the need, and your particular child. What’s more, you’ll learn the basic principles to invent sneaky moves of your very own.
     We hope you’ll use this book wisely—and that you’ll keep it in a safe place. After all, kids are learning to read earlier and earlier these days, and you don’t want it to fall into the wrong hands. Feel free to share it with other parents once your own children have finally gained the capacity to reason (or at least when they’re on to you and your schemes).
     And remember: We are the parents. We are bigger, smarter, and craftier. We don’t have to let them push us around—and in fact, nobody has to push at all! With just a little sneaky plotting, you can keep kids happy, healthy, and well-behaved without fighting. It might even be fun!
—David and James