Stink: The Big Bad Badgers

Avalanche!
         Bear attack!
                  Bigfoot!
   Stink had ants in his pants. He could not wait to join the Survival Scouts! He bounced from foot to foot as he waited in line with his best friends, Webster and Sophie of the Elves.
   It was a long line. A very long line.
   “This line is a mile long,” said Sophie.
   “It’s going to take forever to get to the front,” said Webster.
   “Waiting is bor-ing,” said Stink. “But once we become Survival Scouts it will be way-not-boring!”
   “I can’t wait to learn how to brush my teeth with a stick,” said Sophie. “And build fires. And—”
   “Poop in the woods?” Stink said, finishing her sentence.
   “Eww! I was going to say learn what stuff to eat in the wild.”
   “¡Qué asco!” said Webster. “You mean like eating bugs and stuff.”
   “Mmm, bugs!” said Stink.
   “Sorry. No bug eating today,” said a voice near Stink.
   Riley Rottenberger! Everywhere that Stink went, that girl was sure to go.
   “Hey, Riley,” said Stink. “What are you doing here?”
   “Well, I’m not here to sign up for Survival Scouts anymore, that’s for sure.”
   “How come?” asked Stink.
   Riley looked downcast. “I waited forever, and when I got to the front of the line, they told me that Survival Scouts are for boys only. No girls allowed!”
   “No fair!” said Sophie. “Are you kidding me?”
   “Nope. Cross my heart and hope to fly,” said Riley.
   “That stinks!” said Stink.
   “So not fair!” echoed Webster.
   Riley made a sour-ball face. “And it costs twenty-five dollars to become a member.” She kicked the toe of her shoe against the curb. “Who cares about Survival Scouts, anyway?”
   Stink stepped out of line. “I’m not joining if they won’t let you and Sophie join.”
   “Me neither,” said Webster. “Anybody who wants to be a Survival Scout should be allowed to join.”
   “Boys aren’t the only ones who like nature stuff,” said Sophie. “I really wanted to learn how to read nature signs, like the moss on trees and animal tracks and stuff.”
   “And knot tying,” said Webster.
   “And eating bugs!” said Stink.
   “I already learned a lot of that stuff at Nature Camp last month,” said Riley. “I could probably teach them some stuff.”
   “Like how to include girls and everybody,” Sophie muttered.
   “Hey!” said Stink. “Riley’s right. She could teach us!”
   Riley Rottenberger raised an eyebrow. “Huh?” she asked.
   “You know all this stuff from Nature Camp, right? So . . . if they won’t let you and Sophie join Survival Scouts, why don’t we just make our own troop?”
   “¡Buena idea!” said Webster.
   “Riley could be our scout leader,” said Stink, “and we could come up with a name for our troop. Once a week we could have a meeting at a clubhouse and earn badges and stuff. And Riley could tell us what to do!”
   “I do like telling people what to do,” said Riley.
   “And you’re so good at it!” Sophie teased.
   “How about if we hold meetings every Wednesday in that big blue tent in your backyard, Stink?” asked Riley.
   “Sure!” said Stink. “The Toad Pee Club tent will make a great clubhouse.”
   “C’mon, Riley,” said Sophie. “Our Survival Scouts will be the funnest!”
   “Okay, I’ll do it,” said Riley. “On two conditions. One. I get to make up the official oath. And two. I get to think up all the badges we’ll do.”
   Everybody nodded in agreement.
   “One more thing,” said Riley. “I get to collect membership dues. I’m in charge of all the money.”
   “Money?” said Stink.
   “Money?” said Webster and Sophie.
   “Ha, ha. Just kidding,” said Riley. “It’s free! We can make our own rules since we’re in charge!”
   “You got us,” said Stink. “You get the Joke’s-On-Us badge!”
   “Do we have to sell cookies?” asked Sophie.
   “No cookies,” said Riley.
   “Do we have to eat bugs?” asked Webster.
   “We’ll see,” said Riley. She waved goodbye. “See you scouts on Wednesday!”