IntroductionHOW I GOT TO BE MORE THAN 330 POUNDS
I never thought I’d be writing this book.
I’m just a regular guy with a long record of failing at every diet imaginable. You name it, I’ve tried it. And trust me, there were plenty growing up in the 1990s and 2000s. From the big names like WeightWatchers, Jenny Craig, the Atkins diet,and the South Beach Diet, to the realm of the unconventional, with diets like the cabbage soup diet, the egg diet, and a myriad of other fad diets. Instead of weight loss, they ultimately led to me have a horrible relationship with food. What they did lead to was overeating, emotional eating, and binges.
I had all the books, magazines, and subscriptions you can think of, yet continued to get bigger and bigger.
For years (read: decades) I chased the miracle solution to lose weight, get healthy, and take control over my relationship with food. I aimed to lose x amount of weight by y date. By this birthday, by this summer, by this school year, by this wedding, by this party, by this family gathering.
It never happened.
By the time I was twenty years old, I weighed more than 330 pounds and was completely miserable. So much so that I stopped stepping on the scale. I just didn’t want to know anymore. I was uncomfortable in my own skin, had to continue buying bigger clothes, and felt trapped in my own head and body. I wasn’t completely sedentary throughout all this either. During practically all this time, I did work out a bit. I had gym memberships and even personal trainers. But I learned very quickly you cannot outrun a poor diet, no matter how fast you run. I would undo an hour of effort in a few bites.
The problem wasn’t my activity level. My biggest impediment to health was my relationship with food. While my friends could enjoy eating a scoop or two of ice cream or a single meal from the drive-through, I needed more. One fast-food meal was never satisfying on its own. A scoop of ice cream would turn into the whole carton. I needed to eat until I was uncomfortably full.
For as long as I could remember, I had been chronically overeating, while concurrently hoping, wishing, and “aiming” to lose weight. I would sometimes manage to “do well” for a few days, only to bounce back and go the opposite direction.
Years of constant failure in this endeavor impacted my confidence and how I showed up in life. I was ashamed. Beyond the physical consequences of my decisions, a negative force permeated my life. I didn’t participate in activities. I avoided friends and family. I had high anxiety. I would sweat profusely and felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I had depleted my sense of self-worth to the point I couldn’t make eye contact when interacting with others.
I felt helpless.
Your situation may not be as dramatic as mine. It may be similar. Or your challenges may be even bigger. I want you to know that no matter how hard your current struggle is, you’re not alone. Our culture doesn’t pay enough attention to the real challenges that are behind health issues like obesity. We love looking at dramatic before and after pictures. We obsess over a number on the scale, or how much weight someone lost. But we don’t talk enough about why we have these health issues in the first place, and why it’s so hard to correct them. The formula for weight loss is pretty straightforward, but why is it so hard for so many of us to achieve?
There are years—if not decades—of history that manifest themselves in our behaviors, in our habits, and in how we show up for ourselves. That's what I ultimately had to explore and understand before succeeding in changing the trajectory of my life.
Copyright © 2025 by Arash Hashemi. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
