IntroductionWhen I was a little girl, I dreamt of being wildly successful. My mother fled my father and his abuse when I was four years old. I grew up as the daughter of a struggling single mother who could never quite gain control of her circumstances; no matter how hard she tried, she could never get above water. I needed acareer that would solve everything for us. I told my mom that I was going to be a world-renowned actress. I’ve always needed validation that I was worth respecting. I knew I had a voice and that my life had purpose and meaning.
However, I was met with heartbreak after heartbreak. As a teenager, I tried planning everything—taking hours of classes and training every day, spending my money on music equipment, backup dancing, taking on extra work. You name it, I tried it . . . only to be consistently disappointed, shortchanged, mistreated, and more often than not, rejected. I used every penny I made and every cell in my being to create the perfect life, a better life for myself and my mom. I spent most of my time on this earth trying to gain some control over the circumstances that surrounded me. The idea of continuing a life that was forever out of my control terrified me.
I have always organized every corner of my life. I felt I had to. But then something strange happened—even after tackling my goals, I’d still find myself feeling frustrated, unfulfilled, and dissatisfied. I didn’t know how to enjoy the journey when I was so preoccupied with the destination. I was constantly looking ahead, blazing forward, never focusing on the beauty that comes from being present. I was creating actions based on who I thought I was supposed to be, instead of recognizing who I was becoming.
In our lives we go through heartache and loss. Sometimes ourlives go up in flames and it is only through the ashes of ourformer selves that we rise. That’s my journey. I’ve spent my entirelife making plans for who I wanted to be and what I wanted my life to look like. And God laughed, so I learned to let go, embrace the challenges, and tackle the hurdles head on. In doing so I learned how to find the balance between planning obsessively and enjoying the journey.
This is the journal that I wish I had growing up, and it is one that will keep me grounded and present as I continue my journey. I wanted to create a journal that focused on wellness, productivity, flexibility, and purpose. I’m the organizer of all organizers. The planner of all planners. Checklists? Bullet points? I’ve been that girl my whole life.
But sometimes the wind blows that inspiration in your ear, and the snow melts away your fears. And sometimes when you stop and look up, the sun rises at the exact moment that you’ve been waiting for.
This journal is about taking yourself through the sunshine, the storms, the blooming flowers, and the falling leaves in your life.
These are the seasons of you.
Copyright © 2023 by Kat Graham. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
