When certain people and opportunities close their doors on you, take it as an indication that they do not have a role in your next chapter. It's not rejection, it's evolution. It's progress.
***
In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different?
What do you often think about when you lie awake in bed?
What's something most people don't know about your future hopes and dreams?
What do you worry about the most when you think of your goals?
Do you need to forgive yourself for anything? What and why?
***
Carry You Forward The seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum-wage job you had when you were just starting out. The evenings you spent socializing with colleagues you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. The contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comic strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether you're good enough just the way you are. All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every success you've ever had. All of this has made you who you are today.
I can tell you from my own life experience that I've found love, lost it, found it, lost it, and then found it once again. But each time, what I found was more incredible than the last. So remember that everyone suffers at some point in life. You are not alone. Everyone feels lost at times. The key is using your experiences to grow. When you apply what you're learning to your future choices and actions, you move forward, not backward. You become stronger and wiser. It's not easy, but it's worth it in the end.
And yes, I know you have gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you who you are today. Over the years, so many things have happened-things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit to grow. As time passes, nobody stays the same, but some people will still tell you that you have changed. Respond to them by saying, "Of course I've changed. That's what life is all about. I'm still the same human being, just a little stronger and wiser now than I ever was before."
The bottom line is that you are a product of your past, but you don't have to be a prisoner of it. It may be hard, but you can let go! You can accept the feeling of not knowing exactly where you're going next and train yourself to love and appreciate this freedom. Because it is only when you are suspended in the air, with no destination in sight, that you force your wings to open fully so you can fly. And as you soar around, you still may not know where you're traveling to. But that's not what's important. What's important is the opening of your wings. You may not know where you're headed, but you know that as long as your wings are spread, the winds will carry you forward.
***
What's one step forward you've been thinking about taking for far too long?
What is the best advice you ever received?
If you could go back in time and change things, what would you change about the week that just passed?
What do you want more of in your life right now? What's the simplest way to get a little more of it?
What do you want less of in your life? Why?
***
Life humbles us as we age. We gradually realize how much nonsense we've wasted time on. And we gradually realize how precious the present truly is. Let this sink in today. The afternoon always understands what the morning never even suspected.
***
What simple fact do you wish more people understood?
How would you describe your present in three words? And how would you like to describe your future in three words?
What do you know well enough to teach to others? What value could this add to their lives?
What's a quick decision you once made that changed your life? How did it change things?
What have you lost interest in recently? Why?
***
Choose Differently Our challenge to you, starting today, is this:
Live your life not as a bystander . . .
not as a prisoner to the false beliefs and stories that keep you stuck in your seat.
Live in this world, on this day and every day hereafter, as an active participant. Every morning, ask yourself what is real and important to you, and then find the courage, wisdom, and willpower to build your day around your answer.
It's your choice.
Your choice!
You are choosing right now.
And if you're choosing . . .
to complain . . .
to blame . . .
to be stuck in the past . . .
to act like a victim . . .
to feel insecure . . .
to feel anger . . .
to feel hate . . .
to be naive . . .
to ignore your intuition . . .
to ignore good advice . . .
to give up . . .
then it's time to choose differently!
But let us also remind you that you are not alone. Generations of human beings in your family tree have chosen. Human beings around the world have chosen. We all have chosen at one time or another. And we stand behind you now, whispering:
Choose to be present.
Choose to be positive.
Choose to forgive yourself.
Choose to forgive others.
Choose to see your value.
Choose to see the possibilities.
Choose to find meaning.
Choose to prove you're not a helpless victim.
Choose to let go of your false beliefs and stories.
Choose to find strength in the truth-your truth-so that you can take real steps forward, starting today.
***
What's something small that's worth working on today, regardless of what other people think? Why is it important to you?
When did you not speak up when you feel that you should have? What do you still need to say and resolve in your heart?
Why are you ready to level up right now? Why are the painful parts of this process totally worth it?
What does "a new beginning" mean to you right now?
What are you scared of right now? Why? Is it truly fear, or is it uncertainty?
***
Progress and inner peace both begin the moment you take a deep breath and choose not to allow another person or event to control your thoughts. You are not what happened. You are what you choose to become in this moment. Let go, breathe, and begin again.
***
What is something you've always wanted but don't have yet? What pieces do you have?
What's something you said you'd never do but have since done? Why? What did you learn?
What recently reminded you of how fast time flies?
What's something about the present moment that makes it the perfect time to begin (again)?
What is truly worth focusing on today? What is not?
Copyright © 2023 by Marc Chernoff. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
