The Signs in Love

During my many years as a performance coach and an astrologer, I have often found myself needing to dispel unhelpful myths and fixed beliefs surrounding astrological compatibility-particularly misconceptions that certain signs are not well matched and may lack the compatibility required for a relationship to flourish. I am not saying that there isn't a little truth in the reported difficulties between certain signs, but that is just one part of a much bigger picture. And it's not just about matching star signs either; you need to investigate the natal charts of both individuals to discover how some, or all, of the signs and planets interact. It doesn't have to be complicated, and it's been my life's mission to simplify this process. If you draw both charts and look for the same or opposite sign matches-and not just the (Sun) signs-you will have plenty to work with. If you are ready to jump in, jot down the matches you find by sign and then do some research about those signs and symbols. You can find my guide at dynamicastrology.com.

Again, there is no such thing as incompatibility between signs. Some matches are more challenging than others, but there will always be a point of connection in the combined full charts that sparked the attraction in the first place. These unions encourage us to grow on a soul level by examining our own actions and reactions honestly and by keeping our hearts open, which is the ultimate talisman.


All issues we face in life are due to our attachments-our own and others’ expectations, what we think we should be doing, how relationships ought to look, what others think of us, and so on-it can be exhausting! A fixed attitude about the “right” or “wrong” astrological match is just another attachment we should leave behind. It’s too generic, and no human is as simple as a sign.



How do others perceive you?

Who do you think you are?

Do the two match?

Now consider how much of those perceptions are real, whatever that means to you. Do you play to your audience or operate in certain ways because others expect it?

What attracts you to another person? Be honest-this is just between you and your soul.

Initially, what makes you decide to form a union?

Ultimately, what makes you want to remain or sever ties?

What do you think others find attractive about you?

How much of this is ego, or worldly, based?

How much of what you have noted comes from your soul or higher mind?

Our Love Affair with Romance

Who among us has never experienced passionate love, with its all-consuming, blazing flames? We sometimes know when we are about to get scorched, but by then it's too late. Even the lows of love, its agony and anguish, serve as great teachers and have inspired some of the world's most exquisite forms of art. From pain repurposed often comes beauty. And to this rush of adrenaline, we often become addicts.

We adore hearing stories and fables about love. Love astrology is much more than just your Sun sign, but this is a good place to begin. After that, for a more holistic understanding, I recommend that you get to know your own stars by calculating your own natal chart and then your love interest's.

A natal, or birth, chart is a map of the positions of certain stars and planets at the time of someone's birth. When you combine two charts to determine the compatibility of a relationship, it's called a synastry chart. Although a synastry chart offers plenty of clues and insights, and is interesting to read, nothing is ever set in stone. We are masters of our destinies. How we relate to others is down to us, too. Only by knowing yourself can you see behind someone else's protective mask-truly see them-and allow them to see you, and love you, in return. This is the only way to form an authentic, lasting union.



List a few relationships, romantic, platonic, or professional, that went through the following process: you formed and all was well, aka the "honeymoon" period, but then you stormed, and argued or had a disagreement.

How many of these storms disintegrated or destroyed the relationships?

If you can list more than three, contemplate any running themes. Can you find a common denominator?

Why did the storm devastate the union?

Forget blame and ask: what role did you play, both in the initial stages and in the finale?

Did any of these unions break through the barriers and enable you to really come together and perform as a couple, or friends, or both?

Note what it was about this person that made you work harder to sustain the union.

What was it about you, or where you were in your own journey?


Itís critical to let go of feelings of powerlessness. Stand confident in the knowledge that who you can become is all that counts. This life is only a drop in the ocean, so your “age” matters not. Any progress you make toward self-knowledge will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life, and for the many that will follow.

Connections + Attractions

We all have a little of each sign in our full natal charts, which is why there will always be some sort of a match in a synastry chart that gives rise to an interaction. It could be a fire match-exciting, dynamic, and passionate. It may be a water connection-emotional and transformative-or an air sign match, which is cerebral and intoxicating. Or it could be an earth match-healing and grounding for both people. But some connections are more potent than others.

Sun sign connections help us shine in our lives and in our unions, but the Sun in our chart also symbolizes our ego, which we need to face and work to demote to experience real love. So if you have a Sun connection, think closely about this aspect. How do you interact? Is there any level of pretense or showing off? Do you try to impress each other in unhealthy ways?

Venus and Mars connections-if there aren't other significant points of overlap-may mean that the union will fizzle after the chemistry has worn off and any issues can no longer be resolved in the bedroom.

Saturn connections make you put in the work to commit. They're the glue through problematic times. Saturn combined with any other planet can feel restrictive, cold, and austere-or just boring.

The Moon and the North and South Nodes of the Moon, in any combination, indicate a reconnection in this life to rectify mistakes of past lifetimes and to redress karmic imbalances. North Node is about destiny in this life, and South Node indicates where we have been. Both can feel like fate, which means they may drag us back into unhelpful habits and patterns we had managed to kick.

Moon connections result in all-consuming and emotional relationships, but if one person, or both, lacks emotional maturity, these unions can be explosive and destructive, simmering with misunderstandings and pain. Sometimes one person becomes defensive and insecure or takes on the parental role that the other lacked as a child. This is neither balanced nor sexy.

If it's not clear yet, charts are useful pointers, but they are not 100 percent definitive. Compatibility depends on how much the partners have already grown, their levels of emotional maturity, and their souls. In some cases, the issues that show up in synastry charts already have been dissipated in previous unions so they do not play out anymore. Again, it's all down to self-awareness and emotional maturity. All unions, not only in love, need to go through the same process before they solidify: they form, they storm, and then, with clear boundaries established, they perform in a more considerate and respectful manner.

Many of the successful pairings I know of are not actually connected via their Sun signs, but instead through some other sign or planet, whether that's opposite signs, or Moon signs, Saturn to Saturn, etc. Astrological matches can be more intricate than simply the same or opposite signs. Through years of study and experience, I have found that same-sign matches can be powerful conjunctions with the potential to be very harmonious. Opposite signs may hold the same power and potential for transformation and growth as "squares" (see page 267) and, of course, other oppositions, although squares and oppositions are usually the least comfortable!

If you're feeling a bit lost in some of this jargon, that's understandable. But keep reading. This book will introduce you to each of the signs, show you how they connect, and explain how they work, for better and for worse, to help you become a more grounded and receptive partner. It's not just about finding the right one; it's about working hard to be the right one. The rest will follow naturally.

Opposites Attract

The opposite signs:

Aries-Libra

Taurus-Scorpio

Gemini-Sagittarius

Cancer-Capricorn

Leo-Aquarius

Virgo-Pisces

Opposites indeed attract and are learning comparable lessons, specifically how to overcome similar wounds from different perspectives. They also are learning how to transcend behavioral tendencies that don't serve them, let alone others. It's useful to read your own sign as well as your opposite sign if you want to recognize your own behavior and go-to habits when seeking, pursuing, or being in love.

How It Works

You can use this book to read about how your Sun sign matches with the other zodac signs, or, if you know your natal chart and the natal chart of your partner, friend, or love interest, you will see that the findings relate to any planet connecting to your Sun or your other signs. Remember that it's not always just about a Sun sign match; your partner's zodiac sign may match your rising sign, or your Venus sign may match your love interest's Mars sign, and so on.

Turn to page 51 to read about each sign's relationship to the others and learn how they relate to any matching planet you have in your full chart. Each love match has a light side and a shadow side-I call this "gone wrong" or "gone right," or "flowing well" or "not flowing so well." Neither category is fixed, and just because something went wrong or wasn't flowing in one moment doesn't mean it cannot be transformed in the next. This takes work, self-reflection, and honesty.

Match Your Planets-Fast Track

If you already have both your natal charts, this section explains how to look for signs that match and how they play out. If you don't yet have your charts, draw both of them on dynamicastrology.com or a similar website. You don't necessarily need the exact time of birth to check for major planets, but it helps give you more detailed info. Then, look to the following sections for a translation of your potential as a couple. This fast track shows how your match is likely to play out. Remember, it's not black and white. Life isn't fixed or predetermined, and pretending otherwise would disempower you and your choices, which would be bad karma for me and unwise for you. Instead, let's translate the astrology as a reflective tool for empowerment.

The Sun: "Inspirational Love"



Fortune and love favor the brave.

-Ovid

A connection to your Sun sign usually indicates a mighty union and results in a mutual love of life and an appreciation for fun, which yields happiness and expands the heart. This connection has the potential to bring out the best in both of you and help each of you become stronger as a result.

("To Be") Flowing Right: You become more confident, experience happiness and contentment, summon love and bring joy wherever you go, and shine with the brightness of the sun-both individually and as a couple.

("Not Meant to Be") Not Flowing Right: Also known "pulling an Icarus"-the Sun can burn us by overinflating egos within a selfish union based on superficiality. This combination could expand one or both of your egos in unhelpful ways, such as caring more about how the relationship looks to others than how it really is, or what you or they can get out of it rather than what either or both can give.



Try hard to see your partner and appreciate them for who they are as an individual, as opposed to an extension of yourself. If you are experiencing the unhelpful traits of this union, focus on your partner's appealing characteristics. Review your motivation for being in the relationship and what attracted you in the first place.

Why did you get together, or why do you want to get together?

Was the attraction love for them? What do you, or did you, love
about them?

Try to focus on the sincere traits you love, which helps magnify them. What did, or do, they bring to your life, and vice versa?

If you are experiencing the Sun connections in its flow traits,
then shine on.

The Moon: "Emotional Love"



The Moon is the intuitive nurturer of the zodiac, evoking kindness without condition. A connection to your Moon sign often results in an emotional and comforting union, a love of intimacy and feeling. It also indicates that you probably have a recent past-life connection.

Flowing Right: Your inner needs are being met, and you feel seen and heard. This union boosts emotional security and enhances emotional intelligence, allowing both of you the safety to be generous and feel supported and cherished, resulting in a balanced partnership with both parties sensitive to the other's needs.

Not Flowing Right: Moon connections indicate hypersensitivity and defensiveness, which lead to miserly behavior, meanness, misunderstandings, and chaos as one or both of you overreacts and takes every word and action as an attack or slight. One partner may attempt to control the other by shutting them down with volatile, angry outbursts.



Empathize with your partner, and understand that this is an
emotional past-life union. Be patient if you are experiencing the
unhelpful traits. They may not have your maturity, so encourage yourself, or them, to get professional help in the form of therapy or anger management.

Are you prone to overreacting? If yes, examine your triggers and get some help.

Do you offer kindness with conditions? If yes, then it's not true kindness, which is unconditional. If no, you are a boss! Teach by example.

If you are experiencing the Moon's connections flowing well, then carry on in all your emotional curiosity and quest for growth.

Mercury: "Cerebral Love"



A connection to your Mercury sign results in a mutual curiosity for life and a thirst for knowledge, indicating shared interests, philosophies, and an electrifying meeting of the minds (unless in an opposition, which means you are likely to learn without necessarily agreeing or thinking similarly). You are both adept in the art of communication, like listening and intuiting.