Introduction
Being a gynecologist and obstetrician for over two decades has given me the true honor and pleasure of taking care of generations of women at different stages of their lives, from their early teens through pregnancies, menopause, and well after. Wherever you are on that continuum, let’s imagine it’s you in my office. We’re discussing your health and hormones and how you are honestly feeling. I close the door, and we sit down to talk after your annual Pap smear and physical exam. It’s a vulnerable moment, I know. You’ve probably grappled with weight gain—maybe a little or a lot. Perhaps you’ve felt very forgetful, anxious, or moodier than before. Maybe you’ve started having hot flashes that go off like silent bombs inside you, or night sweats that make you want to sleep with the covers off, then on, then off again.
And what’s your sex drive like? Is it fizzling out? Do you tire easily? Can’t sleep a whole night, or wake up still tired? On top of everything else, do you no longer enjoy yourself or feel like your life isn’t at all what it should be?
You might tell me about other symptoms. Perhaps you’ve been gaining weight, and you don’t know why. Your relationships are fragmenting, along with your confidence. Thoughts may be swirling through your mind like: “Will I ever feel better? Am I just going downhill from here? Am I just going crazy? Or maybe there is something very wrong with me! Is it early Alzheimer’s? Do I have cancer—thyroid, breast, ovarian? Is there something in my labs or my exam? Do I need a surgeon? Psychiatrist? Divorce attorney?”
Whoa, now!
I’ve sat with thousands of women in your situation, and I have communicated with many more thousands through my online interactive programs, including the two most popular, Magic Menopause and Sexual CPR, so I know that moment when you’re ready to do anything. You want things fixed—now! But you may also have lost hope that it is still even possible. Take a deep breath. It is possible, it’s not going to take a lot of time, and you’re not alone. I assure you, you are a powerful woman, and you can turn things around fast.
I understand what’s happening to you. You’re struggling with the physical, mental, and emotional indignities of hormonal fluctuations and an ensuing “metabolic stall.” The result: weight gain, hot flashes, night sweats, fatigue, insomnia, memory loss, hair loss, brain fog, irritability, diminished libido, discomfort during sex, pain, and more. Your body is winding down its reproductive machinery, and you feel like you’re losing control—and losing your mind.
Too many women are resigned to accepting these changes, living unhappily with them, and muddling through for years to come. Many others will agree to be unnecessarily medicated for their symptoms. They’re told this is normal or it’s the best it’s going to get. I know this because I often meet women after they have tried everything else and have gotten fed up with their medical care—yet still haven’t given up hope.
And I also know what you’re going through because I’ve been in this terrible place—twice!
My first experience with these hormonal changes occurred long before I approached menopause, and was triggered by a personal tragedy—my eighteen-month-old son died in a terrible and senseless accident. My insurmountable stress, deep grief, and subsequent depression thrust me into premature menopause and ovarian failure. My hormones were a mess. I was eighty pounds overweight. I couldn’t lose a pound no matter how hard I tried. I started to lose my hair in clumps. My joints ached. At the time, I was the mother of three (two daughters and one stepdaughter), and I very much wanted another child. But because of my tragedy-induced premature hormonal changes, I was told by experts I could never get pregnant again and that I would have to live this way forever. I was devastated.
Mine was a health crisis that traditional medicine could not solve. I couldn’t even solve it, despite being an Emory University–trained, board-certified ob-gyn and expert in functional medicine, plus a consultant in age management medicine. Dismissed by fellow doctors, I was informed that I would just have to live with infertility, weight gain, depression, fatigue, and hair loss. The only solution I was offered was antidepressants and sleeping pills. I felt shattered.
But I would not let myself stay broken.
I refused their options because I had seen my mother struggle under the weight of many medications, and I had to live for my daughters and search out solutions for myself. Survival alone was not enough. Eventually, by using an early version of the diet and lifestyle program I will share in this book, I lost those eighty pounds and went on to compete in a sprint triathlon (which is quite a personal accomplishment, because I hate to run!). My hormones leveled. My depression lifted, and I became someone who felt great all the time. Joyously, at age forty-one, I conceived a healthy baby girl. What traditional medicine said could not be done was done.
The second time happened in my late forties, more or less when most women expect to start transitioning away from monthly periods and into menopause. But just because it was expected didn’t mean it was easy! My hormones mounted another attack on me. Weight gain that creeped to five pounds, ten pounds, then twenty pounds. More fatigue. Emotional volatility. Stress that made me feel like jumper cables were attached to my heart.
I didn’t take this lying down. I went looking for answers and help. Unfortunately, I was again met with a “Well, this is normal” attitude and an ill-equipped medical system that could not, and would not, help. Can you relate? We’re expected to tolerate and power through these disturbing changes, medicate them, or grin and bear them, right? No!
I knew what I had done previously to lose weight, fix my hormones, and overcome complete metabolic stall. I began to tinker with those same solutions again. It took me a lot of trial and error before I figured out the best way to reclaim my body, mind, and soul. I changed the way I ate. I changed lifestyle habits that were standing in my way. I tapped into my inner power and felt more contented and spiritually at peace.
Ultimately, I got myself back in tune. I was able to keep the creeping weight off, felt much more even-keeled—and really, like a younger version of myself. And that happy experience has inspired me to help other women, especially those struggling through hormonal chaos with nowhere to turn.
Copyright © 2019 by Anna Cabeca, DO, OBGYN, FACOG. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.